princess*

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

after 300 odd posts here over the past few years since sec 1. i have decided its time for a new blog. to protect it from prying eyes i shant put the new address here. ask me for it if you want it and i just might give it to you. thank you for faithfully reading my blog all these years (if you have been) on a regular basis. i love you loads for coming here if your intention is to see how i am getting on in life=) its time to leave this and start a new journal.

ciao!

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
4:33 PM

this is the 3rd post of the day and its ridiculous that i have been slacking the whole of today away. but somehow i feel compelled to do just post this random thought.

what is love? specifically romantic love.

this is something i have been asking myself since that day at csc with ming, xinling and bose. i have been trying to find an all encompassing definition of it.

my favourite chapter in the bible tells us that love is patient, love is kind, love is not self-seeking and that it does not boast. and then i ask myself this. will patience actually see love through. if it does not all the time, then why is love patient? or maybe, its patient because when you love someone, you are willing to spend time nuturing that seed of love and go through good times and bad with that person and that requires patience, courage and strength.

and yes, to love someone requires courage. a hell lot of courage.

is there such a thing as greater love?

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
12:09 AM

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

i actually had this entry of heartfelt shoutouts to the 10 people i love most. but it got deleted and i wont bother writing it all over again. i will do it another day.

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:12 PM

stumbled upon enli's blog just now and this comment she wrote left me thinking and compelled to post an entry. enli wrote "over the years, we have all changed so much".

i guess the people who are in a better postition to observe this mega change in me over the years are my parents, siblings, joanne, enli, michelle and jacinta. since i have been living with my family all my life (DUH-UH), and have been good friends with joanne and enli since primary school and with michelle and jacinta, this connection goes all the way back to kindergarten. i still remember us being veryvery close and we were called the 3 musketeers by everyone around us.

but actually, i guess i am in the best position to observe all these. changes. i guess i have changed over the years. some good and some not so good. initially i wanted to document all the changes here and then i decided otherwise. i shall just keep it to myself and pray that i would never forget them.

somehow, while zul, fuiyi, beth, jane, hairin and i were talking about where we are going to live next time, i realised 2 things,

1) i am going to reside in singapore next time. no matter where my work and studies take me to, i know that one day, one very fine day, i will still come back here to start a family and bring them up. dont ask me why, but i just know that this is where home truly is. besides i wont be able to leave my family and the food here. 2 weeks in europe left me insanely desperate for some local food that i even had a dream about it. i will never be able survive without achar, chicken rice, laksa, satay and the list goes one. i know the thing i will miss the most when i go abroad to study next time would be my dad's preserved mangoes. they are the best=) i realised that food has become a main pull factor for me to stay here. it shows what a glutton i am. and gluttony is a sin. but i dont care.

2) i miss florida. i miss our aparment. i remember waking up in the morning and walking to my parent's room and everyone is still sleeping soundly. i would creep out of the bed me and eugene share and then tip toe silently into my parent's room. my dad would be snoring loudly and mummy would be fast asleep. i would then open the sliding door. but only a small part so the breeze would not disturb them and then somehow squeeze through that narrow gap and sit in the balcony watching the sun rise over the lake and watch the ducks arise and feed them bread that we always keep in the balcony for them. i would do that everyday when we stayed there and then when the sun is up, i will run into the apartment and then wake everyone up. those days were beautiful. work was not a factor which stopped any of us from travelling for extended periods of time, save for my dad of course. oh well, i guess as we all grow older, family holidays will simply get harder to schedule. perhaps we should have indeed listened to daddy and go to florida this year end. oh well.

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
6:43 PM

Monday, October 16, 2006

allow me to indulge in some madness before i attempt to begin on my 4000 word long ee. and so i know i am doing bd, but exactly what i am still unsure. what a failure. by tonight i have to get the exact topic and the outline of each chapter done. oh well, its only 4000 words i am sure i can do it. and so i was looking through my lit notes from the last 2 years and this is what i found. it was an unseen poem we did in class together.

Some say love it is a river

that drowns the tender reed

Some say love it is a razor

that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger

an endless aching need

I say love it is a flower

and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking

that never learns to dance

It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken

and the soul afraid of dying that never seems to live

When the night has been too lonely

and the road has been too long

and you think that love is only

for the lucky and strong

Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows

lies the seed

that with the sun's love

in the spring

becomes the rose

-The Rose, Bette Midler

and i remember jiayi commenting on how nice the poem is. i like the last stanza especially its very encouraging at times. oh well its back to the madness of ee.

tok today was absolutely boring. i was bored to tears. thank god for jane and zul. if not i would have just died. tmr i am bringing a book a jacket and sit at the back during tok. that is if i am even going to show up in school. honestly, packing my cupboard and doing my ee would be a much more productive way to spend my day rather than at the tok nonsense. its obvious from the long breaks that they are just extending it for the sake of making it look like we had a fruitful day in school. at least it wasnt such a waste as there was the sat course.

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
6:49 PM

Sunday, October 15, 2006

initially, i wanted to post the lyrics of a song that the clique brought up last night. its very appropriate for a time like this... but its too pointed. and as such, i will keep it to myself.

i seriously should consider password protecting this place. away from the prying eyes of some. maybe i should get down to it one day from xinling.

there are a zillion things running through my mind now. and i have no idea where to start.

but the talk with ming bose and xinling set me thinking real hard. you know these situations are like a love-hate relationship. on one hand, these talks draw you back to reality, shattering your candy coated illusion of love, relationships or life for that matter. on the other hand, its absolutely essential for discussions like these once it a while. it serves as a rain check. and this rain check was a timely one. indeed it is.

tok symposium tmr. lets hope it wont bore me to tears. if it does i am gonna leave early to see the cartier thingy. HAHA

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
11:18 PM

i can conclude mel is a taitai in the making who can cook damm well. hehs she cooked rosti for dinner and it was yummy :)

HAHA THAT WAS WHAT JOANNE WROTE ABOUT ME. MEL CAN COOK! lol=)) i am not so sure about the taitai in the making part but i can cook lol.

initially i wanted to rant that out of my list of 7 things to do, i only completed one. that is jewelfest yesterday. mummy, daddy, matilda and i went for it as we needed to get my 2nd cousin's wedding present. but nonetheless, i went for it. it was gorgerous ANDANDAND productive cause we all got what we wanted. lol=)) yay melly is a happy happy girl.

and so, the weekend was a blast. the sleepover was fantabulous. and gap was okay. so-so, i still prefer the one in ny, nonetheless i had spent the weekend with the people i loved and good company is all that matters isnt it?

and so the weekend is nearly over. come tmr its time to get serious about ee, tok, cas, fundraising, business ia, world lit and what have you. but before the fun is over, theres carmen tonight and christopher said it was extremely nice and worth every cent of his 100 bucks ticket. mine is only 30 haha student's discount or smth so i am sure it will be even more worth it! haha

it is a beautiful world out there=))

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
5:30 PM

Saturday, October 14, 2006

hello stranger!

pink flowers. pink hearts. pink shoes. pink hairbands. pink room. pink carpet. pink sofa. pink table. pink wind chime. pink seashells. pink skirts. pink handbags. pink phone. pink earrings. all things pink.

purple walls. purple soap. purple shampoo. purple towels. purple bags. purple chair. purple drawers. purple hair clips. purple necklaces. purple crsytals. all things purple.

blue coach bag. blue pencil case. blues. blue sky. blue ocean. blue glue. all things blue.

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
12:15 PM

today was probably the most interesting day of the holidays. i have learnt a few things.

1) i cannot cycle fast.

2) choong is a photowhore in disguise.

3) i can survive a day like this and i enjoy it.

on a more serious note, the conversation xinling, ming, bose and i had today while waiting for my mum at csc set me thinking. thinking real hard. and so this weekend, i will use it to sort out these thoughts.

today was fantabulous. haha i think cycling makes you have a smaller butt. i am sure choong xinling and christi thinks so too. haha=) oh well its late now and tmr will be a long day considering the fact that i wont get much sleep tmr night. HAHA okay then so long farewell, i bid you adieu.

AND I AM COUNTING DOWN TO TMR NIGHT. I CANNOT WAIT=)) HAHA ITS GONNA BE SOOOOO FUN. and i need to remember to stock up on ben and jerrys. LOL or perhaps venezia for a change this time round.

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
12:47 AM

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

i was looking through some random pictures on the net and i saw some lasers going off on the start line. and somehow, i realised i miss sailing. though i was never and will never be an accomplished sailor like colin, calvin, nick or katja for that matter i guess i am accomplished in my own tiny sense. sailing has taught me alot. beyond the theory, tatics, rules, reading the weather and all, it has taught me how to be a better person. a much better person. be it the inter-personal skills when relating to people or simply the way i think and make decisions on the spot.

step into nsc and you will see the wide array of people. people who comes from all walks of life. it has really been an eye-opener mixing with the squad. to be honest, i have always led a rather sheltered life, mixing with english speaking people all my life who hardly swear in very colourful dialects and languages. i would like to term them to be the more tame and less havoc people. but when i first joined the squad, i was shocked. in fact, rather apalled at some of their behaviour. i found it hard to accept ghandi simply because of the way he carries himself, talk, walk and even eat. i thought ghandi to be one that was too outlandish and beng for me to associate myself with. i even hard difficulties accepting the st pats boys. namely nick and russell. i found them to be too rowdy and uncivilised and havoc. especially russell when i hear about his drinking escapdes. and the way nick got a piercing simply because he had nothing to do took me quite awhile to come to terms with. even someone decent like calvin lim, poh, shane or edwin for that matter were people i found hard to get along with initially. and then i met this bunch of people. seeing the diverse backgrounds we all were coming from, some from good schs like CRESCENT, acs, cat high and some from what we would normally term as neighbourhood schools and others from the sports school. and yet, mixing with them taught me how to make friends with people from all walks of life, those who are normally not in my usual social circles. and its amazing how the bunch of us bonded so well during trainings, races and the overseas trips. somehow, being in the squad improved my interpersonal skills. it taught me how to mix with more people from all walks of life.

and the sailing itself. ahhh i wont even begin today and bore you guys. besides i lost the mood to blog already. good night

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:52 PM

Well she's all you'd ever want,

She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.

Well she always knows her place.

She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.

She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.

Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.

Well she's never in the way

Something always nice to say, Oh what a blessing.

I can leave her on her own

Knowing she's okay alone, and there's no messing.

She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady.

Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.

Well she never asks for very much and I don't refuse her.

Always treat her with respect, I never would abuse her.

What she's got is hard to find, and I don't want to lose her

Help me build a mansion from my little pile of clay. Hey, hey, hey.

Well she knows what I'm about,

She can take what I dish out, and that's not easy,

Well she knows me through and through,

She knows just what to do, and how to please me.

She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady.

Talkin' about that little lady and the lady is mine.

Yeah yeah yeah She's a Lady

Listen to me baby,

She's a LadyWhoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
9:31 PM

HAHA and so i will rot here till joanne finishes school at 3.

honestly there are so much things to do. cas, ee, tok, business ia, pack my room, econs ia, file stuff, clear my sec 4 stuff ( i know i did it, but the other day i found another box of stuff in my old study room. HOW ANNOYING). start working on my christmas presents ( there wont be much time at the end of the year for this in view of the long periods that i will be away for) and i am sure there will be much much much more. like preparing for sats. honestly, the exams are just over and i am swamped. i have yet to complete any hting on my to-do list, though i was close to going to hte botanics this morning, i could not wake up. i have no idea where to start absolutely no idea. and i am not done shopping yet. i have come to realised that when you are in a programe with a cheem word like baccalaureate (did i get that right), your life turns cheem and hetic. right after major exams called promos, you discover you still have work as high as a mountain waiting for you to conquer it.

i guess thats what you get for being an apple. look at the oranges around us, they can go off for a nice holiday at the end of the year. the only thing they have left after their promos is pw and chi ext. then, once those are cleared, they bascially have nothing major. all these nonsense that we are made to go through better pay off. but then again, we cannot compare apples with oranges. its just different.

on a positive note, i am going to brainwash myself, like what colinho told me the other day, since i am going to spend time doing something anyway, why not try to make yourself enjoy it, make the most out ofit so that the time spent wont be wasted. its a very basic life principle, but something which i often fail to put into practice. oh well, i am off to pack my room so that when pple come on thurs, they can see my neat side. and wow the clique with a spanking sparkling room =)

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:17 AM

Monday, October 09, 2006

haha i cant help but count down to this weekend. my mahjong all-nighter. all i need is 3 from the 7 of you all to be game=) and we shall play mahjong non-stop. and there is mahjong with jiayi too! haha i think we should form a mahjong gang consisting of people who stay around here. jiayi, xuan, me and one more. now we will have to go about finding the missing person. and haha and i have a date with hannah and leanne. this is wayyy overdue since last year end. somehow, i dont feel like studying for tmr. while all of them are happily done with their last paper being math, i still have business till 1. what a loser. loser melly=( but its okay. its just 3 more hours as compared to the rest!

and i had the weirdest dream last night. joanne, lydia and ty will laugh their heads off. i dreamt that jane tried matchmaking goh weixue and i. WHAHAHAHA HORRORS OF HORRORS. for those who dont know, gwx was this irritating guy who sat next to me in primary 5 in class. he had weird habits like not changing his water in the water bottle for a week and he kept threatening to hack into our emails. HAHA and he was the idiot who threw my chinese books into the bin at the end of the corridor. i sat with him for a term, got so fed up and i remember arguing with praba to change my place. oh well, those were the days where we were young, innocent, carefree and immature. business and math. then i am over and done with this thing called promos.

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
12:38 PM